So here you see the animal print clothing Mom loved to dress
her “little Pebbles” in – although I was rowdy enough at times to remind her
more of Bam Bam. When I was a
toddler we lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming and one of the things my parents loved to
do was go out hiking. There are a lot of lovely places around there and one of
them is the amazing rock formations around Vedauwoo. I remember riding on my Dad’s shoulders, but I also remember
Mom and Dad taking a hold on each of my wrists and telling me to jump, and then
they would fly me between them for several yards before lightly landing me on
my feet and I’d beg “again.”
I didn’t have any siblings. Mom had a miscarriage 8 months
before I was born. And then even though she was only 24 when I was born, she
went into early menopause and it looked like my parents would be my only
playmates.
Well I found a playmate in the big Airdale dog next
door. He was a vicious guard dog,
who loved me, but if I got over and under his belly, Mom had to wait until his
owners returned because he’d threaten anyone else who came near me.
And then when I was 2 we moved back to my Mom’s hometown of
Cody, Wyoming to be close to her parents.
It was actually Dad’s idea, because he had so many siblings but mom was
an only child and he wanted her parents to be around their only grandchild.
My parents were really good parents, but they were not
perfect. Mom had never been around
babies and became depressed and convinced that a child could never love her.
She had a rough time for a couple of years, and I grew up both afraid of, and
in love with her. Dad had a sense
of play, a great sense of humor and a strong work ethic, but he also was raised
in Pittsburgh, PA in a time when racist language and prejudice were not even
questioned. He named our black
poodle, that “N word” and balled Brazil nuts “N…..Toes” and told racist jokes
about every nationality and race including his own, Polish Jokes, Hungarian
Jokes, Mexican, Asian, Black – he was very willing to laugh and tell
stereotyped stories about everyone.
You would never hear him doubting the “stereotype that ______ do not
value life like we do”
And yet . . . everytime he met a person from another
background or culture, he was polite and friendly and then surprised. Everyone
he met was an exception to the stereotype – and he never quite realized that by
making friends with his diverse co-workers, and telling us, “____is Bad –except
this one” he was really reaching us that all stereotypical judgments are not to
be trusted and individuals can surprise you in good ways.
My Dad was born on September 4, so today is his birthday.
I’d love to bake him a yellow cake with bananas and fudge frosting but he died
of esophageal cancer on Feb. 1, 1997.
In this collage there is me, and my Dad with me riding high.
Then my Dad in a cowboy hat holding a longhorn and petting our sheep dog as he
helped my Grandpa, Mom’s Dad sell horns and Antlers to tourists coming to
Yellowstone park from off a black pick-up truck in the summer. Then there is a much older, Dad/Grandpa
reading to my two boys, and two pictures of mom and Dad. Then there is my dad
as an adolescent and the curly haired picture his brother Walt tried to destroy
because he hated that his baby brother looked like a girl.
Dad was many things in his life, a baseball fan raised close
to the Pittsburgh Pirates. A Genius who was so poor he had to go to a technical
high school and then into factory work although he could win Jeopardy and know
about every subject. Unlucky, he
got drafted and had already lost a brother on Okinawa and had his Dad blinded
by mustard gas in service – but also lucky, he became a morse code operator who
ever after could type over 100 words a minute and survived his military time to
move to Wyoming and marry my Mom.
They were oddly suited to each other, and fought a little
but mainly got along very well. He
worked at a sawmill, and fought forest fires and worked in a wall board
factory. Always he made little more than minimum wage and benefits only cane at
the last job he had, but he provided a happy childhood to my brothers and I.
He always loved Babies and wanted to be a grandpa, but his
first three grandkids were born in between March 29, 1993 and April 16, 1994
and then he died just a couple years later.
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