Gratitude a Day part 5

 11/24/23

#NaNoWriMo 

What challenge are you Thankful for?

In 2008 I heard about the challenge to write a rough, sloppy unedited first draft of a novel in thirty days. And I had been writing since I was in second grade so it sounded fun. It kind of was fun, but it also

was exhausting and November always feels stressful to me anyway. I did do the 1,667 words a day to meet their 50,000 word goal, but the struggle to pick it up again and write the next 40,000 words that made it in, sure didn’t start on December First, or after New Years. But forward 15 years. I have finished 4 novels, three picture books and some private collections of letters I’ve written over the last 40 years. I haven’t made a ton of money, but I’ve managed to pay a bill every now and then. Best of all, it’s been fun to give author talks at schools, to speak to book clubs, and to read the books with classrooms of third to fifth grade students. 

National Novel Writing Month. My favorite challenge 

11/25/23

What moment this week are you most grateful for?

My husband’s birthday was on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. He and I got to talk to family and friends on the phone. Our Granddaughter told him Happy Birthday and my brother sang him a birthday song he heard loud 3,000 miles away. 

Our youngest son and oldest granddaughter came with us for a drive up the coast. We walked on the docks and watched the sun set and the moon rise over a beautiful beach. We ate pizza and ice cream and fudge and played air hockey in the game room. 

We missed a lot of people over this week and the fact so many celebrated his birthday was a good reminder that when we feel alone we really are not. 

11/26/23

What form of expression are you most grateful for?

Every year for 42 years now, I have sat down and thought about the friends and family, far and near, still here, expecting babies, missing from this earth. All of them. And while my current family and friends gather to play boardgames I sit listening to the laughter and write out addresses after having tried to sum up the past year in a letter and single photo card. 

11/27/23

What small thing that you use daily are you most grateful for?

Honestly the one thing that I am always aware is an amazing gift is being able to turn a tap and have running, hot or cold water, clean and safe to drink, abundant enough to fill washing machines and wading pools and take daily baths or showers. 

It’s a luxury my grandmother didn’t have in her house, and one my great grandmother only had via a hand pump and a reservoir on the side of her stove. It’s one I’ve done enough long camping or power outages to know I can live without, but I sure do love living with it.

11/28/23

What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?

Sometimes, in spite of forcing yourself to stop and look at all the negatives in comparison to the good things, when you can see that the scale tips heavily to the side of being blessed, it isn’t enough to keep me from feeling overwhelmed and depressed. It’s hard to keep from the dark thoughts and the fears and loneliness even in a crowd. November is often like that and this one has been especially difficult. So many days when getting up and forcing myself to take a shower is harder than it should be. But music is a lifeline. And my family often leaves sounding stressed, goes to choir and comes back singing and laughing. 

Today the movies did that for us. We went to see the third Trolls movie. The first two were energetic, musical and very positive. This one also served to energize me and I came home happier than I left, singing and teasing Daisy and greeting the dog. Movies are hard for me though, sitting without moving, or standing more than 20 minutes both trigger muscle spasms and pain. The theater was not crowded but still there were plenty of other people, so I held Greg’s hand, gritted my teeth until it felt like they would shatter and screamed silently, kicking my feet around to make my nerves think I was moving. And then the soundtrack would catch me up and carry me, like the pain meds never really do. 

11/29/23

What friend/family member are you grateful for?

Ok, I’m grateful for all my friends and family members, Duh! 

That said, of course it mostly comes back to Greg. I was such an insecure, hopeful girl when I met him. Finally away from the cliques and bullies of Cody Schools but not yet believing or trusting offers of friendship. He was steady and gentle and dependable. He let me freak out and scream, let me cry and swear I hated him, let me repeatedly push him away, without leaving. When I didn’t trust him, he just stayed true and waited for me to realize it. Then when he wanted to introduce me to his family I was terrified. They were 327 miles away, and he was the baby of six kids, and I just knew that going to stay at his parents house when everyone came home would mean they’d all see what a loser I was and then he’d see it too. He, on the other hand, assured me that if he loved me, they’d love me. Well, it wasn’t quite as fast as he assumed, but it was far more instant than I’d expected. His Mom was hesitant but became my other mom and his ten year old nephew leaped into my arms and fell asleep with his head on my lap as we watched movies. Soon I knew that my mom would keep Greg and kick me out if I was stupid enough to break up with him.  I knew this because she told me so in pretty much those exact words. And I haven’t ever stopped being grateful that he entered my life in the Fall of 1981 and is still here. No one makes me happier, or madder or more of any emotion - in short, he is tangled in who I have become because he makes me more me. 

11/30/23

What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?

Well, Day thirty of this challenge. Without sounding vain, I hope, there are many skills that come easily to me, but while I enjoy them, painting and weaving and drawing and writing, reading and singing, and telling stories, all of them, they are things I’m interested in, until I figure out how they work. But I get to a basic understanding and ability and get interested in something else. It’s like Greg is a singer, a vocal music director. But also can teach band. He isn’t an instrument player really, but he understands how they all work and can tell a student how to improve, but never really took the time to master one. With so many things I can judge if it’s good or Great, but I don’t do the great stuff myself. It took me awhile to realize my particular skill that I love is teaching. I love to find the ways to relate to kids and light their enthusiasm and help them see where they can grow. I love when learning is creative and makes huge messes. I love that kids love me and show me the stuff they can barely contain their enthusiasm for, whether it’s art or snakes, or likely something I have to start learning about to help me teach them. 

I love when one of them leans over and whispers, “you keep me safe.” I can’t always. But I sure try. 

Thankful For Family This November

Mom and Dad

My Mom, Her Aunt and Grandmother in Wyoming

Dad & I

So all over facebook there are people posting about the things that they are Thankful for, at least one a day for the month of November.  I did that last year but a lot of it just came down to one thing.

My husband's parents at their wedding

 And it wasn't a thing. What I kept writing about in my list was the people who are my family and friends.

When I was a child, Family was My Mom and Dad and I, living a long way from any other relatives in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  I thought family was a rock solid, unchanging concept.

Great Grandma Emma Lafferty Slack and I

Then when I was only a couple years old, we moved diagonally across the state from the South East corner to the North West. Back to the part of Wyoming where my Mom's family had long roots.  Suddenly I had Grandparents and great Grandparents and Aunts and Great Aunts and cousins by the dozens and I was happy with the change.  Adding more family was great.

And we added more.  When I was nearly 5 we adopted my baby brother, and when I was 12 another brother was born and more cousins came along and family was a growing, entity.  A wonderful circle of loving security.  I am grateful for those years.

Of course they couldn't last.  Sooner or later everyone learns that family isn't permanently growing, sometimes it is losing members too.

My cousins divorced, My great Grandmas both died at age 98 and another 18 year old cousin died of cancer, and another, favorite cousin came home from the marines safely only to be killed by a drunk driver.  Then my Mom's Dad died of Cancer before I graduated from High school.

And  I grew older and moved out and my home was just a converted garage with my 19 year old boyfriend in it.

Greg and I at 19

My wedding finery! just an hour after the JP married us

and then I was moving farther away, and the boyfriend became a husband and my family expanded to include all his, in-laws and nephews were great to add in. But all too soon there were days of driving between my family in Wyoming and us in Ashland, Oregon.

When My family came to visit Ashland, Oregon where I was in College

 and a month after we graduated from college in Ashland, my Mom's mother died.  I didn't like this part of family.  The losing ones you loved part hurt.

My Brother and parents at Niagara Falls

 but life moves on even when there is pain and the good years came back and my brother and I and my husbands sister were busy adding babies to the family and life was noisy and exhausting and wonderful.

Greg and I during our term as exchange students in Beijing

Some of the best years

 but all too soon my Dad, who loved being a Grandpa, was dead of esophageal cancer, as was one of my cousins.  My Mom and brothers were changing and moving on, and we heard from them but didn't get to spend enough time together, and family expanded to take in a Day care Grandma and day-care babies who lived with my babies from 7 AM to 5 PM every day and were more like siblings than friends.

Lance and my Mom after Dad died of Cancer

My Maternal Grandma and I

 And still life moves on.  My Mom is aging and her memory becomes confused. Talking to her on the phone is difficult and a strange trip into fears and confusion.  She had to move out of her house this year and my Brother Lance had to give up his 19 year job to move with her. Now in DC they are farther from me than ever, but closer to my brother Brett.

My youngest son and his lovely girlfriend

My sons are grown up and the family home is more a revolving door with people in or out and me never quite sure if it will be empty or full.  There are new children in our life, great nieces and nephews, a grandchild on the way, the babies of extended family. Life filling in the gaps because a vacuum is never allowed to remain

My oldest son working on a crab boat

My Brother Brett and his New wife

 So the family I am grateful for this year is not the one I loved as a baby, not eve the same one it was last November, but still, yes the family and friends are the part of my life I treasure the most.

Mom and my brother Lance

I used to hate Turkey, but I have the best Turkey recipe now.

I have so many things to be grateful for this year.  I know that there is much that is troubled and harsh going on in the world, but I also know that even in the harshest, most troubled times there is also much that is filled with love and beauty.  Thanksgiving and Harvest time is a good time to gather the ones you love close to you and celebrate the gifts of another year.

When I was growing up, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with Ham or Beef because my Dad swore that Turkey was dry and tasteless. If we went to celebrate with cousins who cooked a turkey they would always deny the dryness and talk him into trying it, but he would enjoy the stuffing and mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and later say that that turkey was just like all the others.

 

 You can't make a moist turkey.  Dad told me, and I believed him.  Then I married a man who loved turkey, so we made them, in a baking bag like his Mom and his sisters, but I still agreed with Dad. Without Gravy, Turkey was too dry to choke down.

 So It was more than a surprise, It felt like a miracle, when we joined my brother-in-law one year and decided to try a new recipe together.  Like always, we cooked the neck and giblets in a pan on the stove to get the broth for gravy, because the turkey in a bag method gives you very little broth.  But when we pulled out this turkey, it sat in at least a gallon of broth and the meat was so tender it melted on your tongue and no we have used the same recipe 6 times, and friends have used it.  It is not only perfect, It is easy.

 I can put the turkey in the oven and ignore it for 3 hours and play board games or work on writing my November NaNWriMo novel.

 I can celebrate the kids coming home from college and the sea and forget that I am cooking the dreaded turkey.

 So what do you do?

Grab yourself a unfrozen turkey and remember to take out the giblet bag from the neck cavity.  I usually cook about a 16 pound turkey but vary that based on the crowd you are serving of course.

Take a large washed, pear and place it into the turkey, yes, you'll have to cook dressing in a separate pan.  Then take a turkey cooking bag and shake the flour inside it like the instructions with the bag tell you to do.  Put the bag an its side in a roasting pan and put in six stalks of celery trimmed to about 6 to 9 inches, lay them parallel and just use them to rest the turkey on.  Have someone help you put the turkey in the bag.  Then take another large pear and cut it in half and place each half on the turkey, cut side down, just above each drumstick.

Use the zip tie to seal the bag and make a few 1/2 inch cuts in the bag to vent steam.  If your turkey has a pop up timer make sure the bag is loose above it or it will be held from popping up.

Stick it in the oven and cook according to the bag directions for that size, and aim for 1/2 way between the time for stuffed and unstuffed given in the directions.  Forget about it during that time and it will be great.  Of course you will think you need to be making pies and mashed potatoes and sweet yams and all that stuff, and you do, but it doesn't take the whole time, so also ENJOY YOUR FAMILY!

When you pull it out, there will be a lot of hot broth, so be careful.  Enjoy

I still use the neck to boil up a pan of broth for gravy, and that way I can add in poultry seasoning, soy sauce, garlic and pepper while it simmers.  Then I just whisk a third of a cup of corn starch into a cup of cold water, add it to the broth and stir while it comes to a boil and I get a nice, clear, lumpless gravy everyone likes.

Our must have side dish is a sweet potato casserole with a brown sugar and pecan streusel topping.  But the only real must have is the simple ability to look at the mess and the dirty dishes and the smiling faces and remember, if you're eating and you have dirty dishes and one person you love.  Life is good.