1994 and Baby Makes Four

So I already told you that 1993 had the surprises.  We got the adoption notice when the birth Mom was two weeks over-due and found I was pregnant before the adoption was legally finalized, so we knew exactly what to expect in 1994

right?

still 5 weeks to go?
NO

Emerson Lawrence Amadeus Goode
April 16, 994  7:05 PM
5 lbs. 6 Oz.       18 3/4 inches
Rogue Valley Medical Center    Medford, Oregon

Hello Everyone!

     I hope you will join us in welcoming a new, little boy who was determined to be a big surprise.  as most of you know - news of our pregnancy - coming as it did after years of trying and the recent adoption of Austin - caught us completely off guard.  Then you think, at least with this baby we have until May 24th to prepare.  Surprise again!

    When Dixie's back started hurting on April 11th we assumed it to be "one of those pregnancy things" and when the Doctor agreed and suggested possible bed rest and physical therapy we thought things were fine - but by Friday April 15th - Dixie was very sick and had Stomach, back and shoulder pain which the Dr. said was all referred from her liver.  A diagnosis of HELLP Syndrome (pregnancy induced, high liver enzyme, low platelet count) sent her by ambulance to a Medford, Oregon hospital with a newborn intensive care unit for an emergency Cesarean Section on Saturday evening.
   
     Needless to say, the birth and following time in the NICU was not avery pleasant experience.  Every plan and decision Greg and I had made in the past several months was destined to happen about the opposite if why we had wanted - but our main goal of having a healthy Mother and Baby is finally coming true.  Emerson is little and 5 1/2 weeks early but he's growing and becoming more left and aware of his world.  Austin is enthusiastic and loves his new baby but we have to keep a tight watch on the two of them because of over eager love pats (whack, whack) and exploration (See his ear, his eye?) POKE - - Austin was 18 days past his 1st birthday when Emerson was born so Baby makes four and our family is home and happy (weak and exhausted but very happy)

Much Love,

Dixie, Greg
Austin and
Emerson

3 days old

Grandma Holding Emerson, and Uncle Lance far Right,  had a Greyhound bus adventure on their way to visit

about 6 days old at Hospital still

Austin

1 week old and going home

Merry Christmas 1994 :)

If I ever said our life was hectic before.

Scratch that! If I could have back

those days of leisure - I wouldn't do it.

But those nights!!  Emerson likes

to eat - and in 6 months has gone from

a low of 5 lbs. 2oz to 18 lbs - but he

likes to eat at 11 PM and 2 AM and 4 AM and

on and on - Known as Durayell, the 

copper top kid, he's happy, healthy and

never stops! Austin is a blond, beauty

but at 20 months he's been in the terrible

two's for ten of them - "No" only has

meaning when he's saying it. Still he's 

gentle and loving with Emerson - but must

be supervised of course. "I can jump

on Dad's Dad's tummy why not Emerson's"

Exhaustion? Yes. Happy? Very much so.

All our days are filled with love and school and babies

Happy Holidays

Greg, 

Dixie

Austin 

and 

Emerson

Christmas Letter 1994
The sequel

Well, I looked at that first page and decided that it looked great but doesn't say much and since it is all you get, I'll give it another shot, so blame exhaustion and not my good intentions, when you have read this page and still have no clue about how Greg and Dixie are doing.

Dixie, is loving being a mother and resents the 9 hour days her job requires. I work and rush home to the boys - the housework gets ignored a lot by both Greg and I in favor of beach walks or family swim night but I get up four times a night with the boys - get up at 5:30 to get ready for work - get home at 5:00 - clean bird cages - cook sometimes and play and read stories.

Greg as usual is swamped with Christmas concerts and school programs - he's always starting 10 projects and finishing 2 but he did get us moved this year into a house where the birds and their noise and mess are outdoors but they are still close enough to ply with. He's also super as a Dad - funny but firm, and he's been helping me teach the boys to swim

Austin can sing "eieio" and clap and stomp for "If you're happy and you know it."  He swims, does forward rolls and spins around, he loves to act out Humpty Dumpty by falling at the appropriate time from a chair or headboard. He loves Emerson and shares his toys, gives hugs and slobbery kisses but if Emerson is praised for rolling over then Austin has to roll over too.  He'll be nearly 21 months on Christmas and is tall, beautiful and a great joy.

Emerson, our newest angel will be 8 1/2 months on Christmas day and weighs close to 20 lbs.  He's getting his first 2 teeth, starting to crawl and walk in  walker but can pretty well get anywhere he wants to by scooting or rolling.  He loves to crumple paper, play peek-a-boo, swim, giggle at Austin's pranks and eat.  He has long arms and steals or pizza with amazing speed but hasn't choked yet - knock on wood.

Once again, love and Merry Christmas to you,

Greg, Dixie, Austin, Emerson

The Cody Wyoming Christmas

Brothers

Emerson

Aunt April, Temporary Cousin Curtis, Austin, Connor, Colton, Uncle John and Emerson

Grandpa Paul n Emerson

1993 adoption and Joy

1993 began what has been the most wonderful part of my life.  I adore being a Mom, and all the other things I am, daughter, sister, student, writer, friend and husband were things that led up to and shaped me as a Mom.  I'm not perfect at it, even twenty years later, and yet, I've loved the ride so much.

Greg's sister April sewed Greg's robe for him, the stuffed Monkey was my childhood best friend and my Mom's companion in get College life

back when I still hand wrote at least a paragraph to each person

December 1993

Merry Christmas!

This Form letter and photo card has become a tradition.  I love doing it because browsing through our address book allows me to remember all the people whose existence brings so many treasures to our lives.  Although some of you I see or call each week and some never hear from us except at Christmas, you are all part of our herts so that we know that even if it's been ten years of Christmas form letters, we could have you walk into our living room and be able to talk and be delighted to be together.  So when you receive this, you know we are saying that we are very happy that you are a part of our world.  I wish I could promise to send more frequent and sometime handwritten letters - but life gets busier and tie more rare.  Be assured that if thought were letters your mailbox would be overflowing.

(Looking back, I realize this is why I love facebook.  Instead of thinking, Oh I wonder where my cousin is, or what my friend is doing, or "oh gee! Today is your birthday but I needed to mail something 4 days ago to let you know I remember" I have a way to say almost as soon as I think it, that you are on my mind.  Love so many people who live so far away  )

   So - 1993 - What  a year!  Greg and I started the year with our 11 year old foster-daughter.  On March 29th we were blessed with the birth of our beautiful, adopted son Austin.  We got to take him home when he was only 18 hours old.  Our lives immediately became better but much more exhausting.  In August our foster-daughter moved to a new home - although she went to Wyoming with us, later that month and has stayed in touch.

September 22th, I took Austin for his 6th month shots and asked the Dr. about some strange symptoms I'd been having.  What  a happy shock when she said, "You're Pregnant."  I'm due on our 10th wedding anniversary (May 21)   On November 16th the judge signed the finalization papers and we became the legal parents of Austin, a 7 1/2 month angelic monster who thinks he should be walking (and hitting his head), feeding himself (and give me the spoon ! NOW!), biting (see my 8 sharp teeth, see my smile even when I try to remove your finger. It means "I love you.")  His favorite thing to bite is an electric cord, foods of choice include sand, pebbles and wood chips.  He's happy, he laughs a lot, sleeps through most nights and has complicated our lives in a very wonderful way.  The kid has personality in abundance and both Greg and I keep staring at him in amazement!  We know there are thousands of babies born every day in this world, but this one is special.

Speaking of special, you have avery special holiday season with those who are most special to you!

Love

Austin, Dixie and Greg

hand made thank you card for the massive amount of baby gifts we received

When Mom and Dad contacted Adoption Horizons fifteen months ago they were told, "it's impossible to find healthy, adoptable infants."  Imagine their surprise when I arrived with only a four day warning. They had nothing for a baby, so I figure I may be little but I owe a big thanks to all the people who helped them get ready for me.

Thank You ! ! !

AUSTIN
(and Mom and Dad)

Becky and Austin 

at 24 hours old

After getting a call at work, asking if we'd be interested in a newborn, and being told the birth-Mom was 2 weeks overdue, We got to walk right into the hospital and have Austin's birth-Mom and Grandparents there to hand him over and say, "Hey Austin, meet your Mom and Dad."  seriously open adoption terrified me, but this was such a good thing for our son, because he always knew everyone loved him and that no-one had had any reason to reject him.

Foster sister Cassie was with us for the first 5 months of Austin's life and we were so lucky to have a chance to have both of them in our lives.  Even after she no longer lived with us, she went back to Wyoming to visit our families with us and now she is a wonderful young woman with delightful children I get to work with at school.

My Heart Goes to Sea

 Way back in March of 1993 I was told that “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone

but that wasn't sufficient warning for the real impact of how much your life and values and world change the first time that child is in your arms.  My favorite things brfore I was a Mom suddenly all had to be re-evaluated and only the people managed to stay on the list.  Some things I had loved, like "Nightmare on Elm Street" were forever gone.  i didn't want to think of that kind of horror in the same world that my baby lived in.

 But that first child of mine was good at finding plenty of things to make a mom want to wrap him in bubble wrap and keep him always close.  He loved speed and noise and the great outdoors.  He still does, and as he has gone from a baby to a young man he has made me question the safety and sanity of my beloved child fairly frequently.

 I will never forget the day when I was at the river with my husband and both boys.  We had done a lot to water proof out children, including taking them to the pool twice a week starting when they were only weeks old and playing in the water with our infants in our arms, then paying for all the swimming lessons, and taking them to the beach and river with us.  That said, kids (and adults) drown here every year, the water is not something you can ever really be proof against.  This moment I am talking about, they wanted to swim across the river with my husband and jump off a rock there.  i knew the next step would be doing it with just each other, and in my min I saw the next steps that kids here take, going on their own, driving to more remote river spots with higher rocks and bridges to jump from. Surfing the ocean or kayaking the rapids.  I so wanted to say "no"

 Then I had a moment of something that still feels like truth to me.  I did not adopt this boy, or give birth to his brother to raise them wrapped in cotton.  A life spent being safe is ultimately no life at all.  So I gulped and visualized the worst, if they jumped from the rock and got caught in the river and I could never reach them in time.  I looked at that gorgeous water and the towering redwoods and the beautiful sky nd remembered a saying of my Great-Grandmother's people, "Today would be a good day to die."  Of course I didn't want them to die, but I did want them to live. So I said, "Go for it!"

 and I keep saying it to him.  And I still shudder inside every time I think of the worst case scenario.  None of those have happened    YET

 but many best case scenarios have come true

 So the day after tomorrow that young man climbs on a boat to head out to sea.  A tiny boat and an enormous sea, to try his hand at what is known as, "The Deadliest Catch"  Really?!  They had to call it that?  The world may see an adult, but I still see my baby.

 and I really like the idea of bubble wrap or a big padded room.

 But this is a young man filled with adventure and energy and the biggest heart, so he is taking my heart to sea, and I am, once more saying "I love you.  Go for it!"

Just come back.  Safely and often.