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From me to JeremyOlyhiker,
I sense a disturbance
in the force tonight
as a thousand voices around the world
cry out in protest
then are silent
waiting for your one voice
to answer
but it is lost in the silence.
In the silence
a candle flickers
another joins it
the lights a river of sparks
stars winding through the darkness
leading you to where the campfire glows
Warm and welcoming.
Warm and welcomed you join the group
lift your guitar while prayer flags dance
dance in the music filled breeze
that ruffles the stream
where the salmon spirit returns home one more time.
Find peace JER,
It is here.
Jer sent me the rock for christmas, but he painted salmon many times too. And after the panic when he was missing turned to grief I did the other picture in response and hope that he will find the peace he was looking for.
But the fury is very real too, D@mn it Oly, you were my friend and almost the only one who followed this blog. I wish you good things, but I am so angry. So I also wrote the following Rant, to help me understand the anger.
"Why would you want to leave a world with Orcas in it?"
Selfish, greedy
inconsiderate
bastard pig
YOU couldn't
"take the Pain"
so YOU
multiplied it
and
sent it out into the world
You can't find Peace
by avoiding life, someone said
and their tweet arrived
the day I heard you had died
Fuck no
YOU didn't die
it didn't happen to you
You caused it
you embraced it
and in closing your eyes forever
you filled the eyes of the world with tears
WHY OLY
if you were going to end this way
why did you get in my mind
promise me friendship
wake up my creativity
send me gift that made me smile every time I entered the room
and now only make me cry
YOU FUCKED UP
and if you could see all these tears
You'd know
Too late
Your life wasn't meaningless
but a great gift
and should never have been tossed on the lake shore
like so much trash.
inconsiderate
bastard pig
YOU couldn't
"take the Pain"
so YOU
multiplied it
and
sent it out into the world
You can't find Peace
by avoiding life, someone said
and their tweet arrived
the day I heard you had died
Fuck no
YOU didn't die
it didn't happen to you
You caused it
you embraced it
and in closing your eyes forever
you filled the eyes of the world with tears
WHY OLY
if you were going to end this way
why did you get in my mind
promise me friendship
wake up my creativity
send me gift that made me smile every time I entered the room
and now only make me cry
YOU FUCKED UP
and if you could see all these tears
You'd know
Too late
Your life wasn't meaningless
but a great gift
and should never have been tossed on the lake shore
like so much trash.
I'm sorry if my anger hurts anyone else. That was never the intention, and after writing this, I felt peaceful enough to draw the orca picture above.
Life goes on, just lonelier now.
Hi Echo,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you lost your friend. I never knew Olyhiker, but he is someone that I wanted to know. I always looked forward to his posts, his art and his music. I wish I had let him know the brightness he brought to the BP Msg Board. He always had a kind word to say.
I understand your anger, at least in a small way. He was one of the people on the board that I would liked to have met, but it was not meant to be. His death affects me in ways that I am still trying to understand.
When you are done crying the tears of grief, sorrow and anger, I pray that you will remember Jeremy fondly.
I would like to let you know, that I also look forward to your posts. I always read them and feel contentment.
I wish you peace and love,
Tim (aka timpows)
P.S. Just so you know, I check in on your blog every now and then. ;-)
Tim, Thank you. We are part of an amazing family and that has sure been obvious this few weeks.
ReplyDeleteDixie