Thursday, September 22, 2011

Life Moves Fast, Don't Blink

Today is a day our family celebrates.  Sept. 22 was the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time, and that meant that my second son would be arriving when our first boy turned One.  September 22 is, in our Family, "Discovery Day" because that is the day, the Dr., who was evaluating the health of the baby we were adopting for his six month check-up, told me, "Think POSITIVE!"  It wasn't my appointment but moments before, I mentioned that I wasn't feeling right, and even though, I couldn't have kids - she suggested a pregnancy test.  I laughed skeptically but pee'd in the cup anyway.

After 10 years of waiting to be a Mom, I finally got to hold my 14 hour old adopted son, and fall in love with him and take him home.  Life was Perfect.  A year and 18 days later, it was even more so.



I love being a Mom.  It was everything I dreamed of and more.  My boys were lovable, frustrating, exhausting, rewarding, beautiful monsters.  But every time I blinked they got older.


Now the oldest of my two first-born sons graduated from High School last June and my youngest is a senior.  The house I waited so long to fill, is quieter and lonelier already now that the older one has moved out.  Yes, he visits, and texts and gives me hugs and brings his puppy over to play.  But it will never be the same again.  I never realized how the empty nest syndrome could truly feel like mourning.  I dread the next graduation even as I celebrate the success and growth of my youngest from 7 week premie to six foot two, young man.

Cousins
I know that I had a life before kids and some of that was put on hold and is coming back.  Only recently did I finally realize my goal of being a published writer, with two novels in a year - but the life with the kids, I have always know was the peak of my mountain, the cream in my donut, the star in the sky of my life.
I thought he'd be a pirate forever.

Best Friends
Well of course they are not anything, Forever.


I miss the children they were.  I'm glad we celebrate them each at least twice a year, Birthday's, Discovery Day and Adoption Day.  In reality I celebrate them with every breath I take.
I am so proud of the men they have become but wish that it did not happen so fast!
So if you have kids, don't think it lasts forever.  Don't think the other stuff won't wait.  It is the baby who won't be there forever; the chance to say "yes" to telling a story, or going to a soccer game, or swimming instead of working.  I have a few regrets of paychecks i didn't earn, but no regrets of things I couldn't but, My house isn't new, or fancy, but it is filled with the most loving memories, and when we all move on, I don't care if none of the stuff comes with us - but I know the love will.


Brothers

Today the baby I tried to have for 10 years is a High School Senior.

Somehow, a life flies by and the one thing you can do to make it worth while, is spend it on the people you love.  My children and my students, my siblings and parents and cousins and neighbors and always and all ways my spouse, have all added frustration and problems to my life, and pain when I have had to say good-by

But they have all added to my life, joy, and more good moments than any one person could ever deserve.

15 comments:

  1. Lovely post about your family, lovely thoughts.

    Following From the FNF Hop. Please check out my blogs.
    http://hearttoheartathome.blogspot.com/
    http://createabeautifullife.wordpress.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Heart-to-Heart-at-Home/243205369049323 "Like"

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  2. I found you via the FNF Hop. I had to follow you when I started reading your blog. A lot of what you have said resonates with me. You are right, life flies by - we should spend it with those we love.

    best wishes,

    Miranda
    ___________________________________________________

    Art & Craft Blog: randamart.blogspot.com
    My Cancer Battle: ancoraimparo.blogspot.com

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  3. It's so true and these are some wonderfully fun pictures!

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  4. Oh my, it makes me want to cry. My oldest is currently a senior, and I dread next summer when she goes off to college. Sniff, sniff. You're very right. Time passes so quickly!

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  5. My oldest is now in her forties, and I agreed that time can go by really, really fast. But it is so wonderful when they are grown and wonderful, except for that part about trying to tell you what to do now that they think you are old. LOL

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  6. One minute they are your babies and life stretches out like a magic carpet before you. The next, they have their own children and you are a nana chasing the little one up the garden shrieking with delight all over again and marvelling at the beauty and natural wisdom of childhood. We learn to treasure all the precious moments and to participate in the beauty of the day and realise that time is an illusion. That precious child is always present! You are such a lovely person, Dixie!

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  7. Sch a great post!


    I'm a new follower from the FNF hop. Hope you can stop by www.mamasmusingsblog.blogspot.com

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  8. Hi Echo, I'm a new follower from the Weekend Warrior blog hop. I love the vibe and message of your blog :0)

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  9. New follower from Finding New Friends blog hop! Hoping you follow back!! =0)

    My Crazy Life

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  10. I can so relate to this . My only child graduated last May and went into the Navy. The house is definitely quieter.

    Following now.

    Visit when you get a chance. Http://not-that-mom.blogspot.com.

    Julie

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  11. I have 5 children of my own...my home used to be full of noises, how I used to hate all the noise...it is now so quiet! All my kids are grown and my baby left for college in August! I totally understand and appreciate your post! I also want to say that it is because of awesome parents like you that my granddaughter is growing up in a stable home! Thank you for showing that Adoption is a positive and powerful thing! I am hopping through on Saturday evening! If you haven't yet, Please Follow back Parga's Junkyard Blogand on facebook as well as on my new networking site Like it Ladder Thanks!

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  12. What a wonderful post! I am so glad that you got to adopt and also have a baby of your own. So many blessings in your life. I am following you back. Thanks for stopping by Mom's Point of View :)

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  13. So glad that you found Terri's blog and got to read my guest post about my empty nest. Looks like you're half way there. I'll be interested in following along while you take that journey. Happy to be your newest follower.

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  14. Thank you for following during the FNF blog hop this weekend. I am happily following you back. Hope you have a great week. :)

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  15. Hi this is Nicole from Colie’s Kitchen I just discovered your blog and wanted to drop by and say hi. I am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance. www.colieskitchen.com

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