Laura Goode, Dec. 15, 1953 - March 7, 2022

 

Today I learned of the death of Laura Dee Goode. She died 1600 miles away, and nearly two weeks ago but until today her family did not know it. On March 6 my husband talked to her, and she responded with shock and irritation when he said she was nearly 70. She won’t get there now, not with her 69th birthday still nine months in the future she will never see. 

When I was 18, I met her youngest brother and once we were dating, I decided to travel with him to visit his family. She told us we could stay in her house but she would be out of town for that weekend. We got there to open doors and a welcoming note and that is exactly who she was back then.  Generous, welcoming, the life of any party. My husband assured me, well not yet my husband, that “she will love you because I love you.” And she did. Even when we lost a python in her house that first visit and had to leave her a note of warning as we left. (Greg’s roommate had asked us to take it to the Reptile Gardens near her home because it had gone nine months without eating after being bitten by its last meal. She found it in her dryer months later and sold it.)

As we grew older and I got to know her, she became a bit more unstable. Life wasn’t kind to her. Her only son died when he was in a custody battle for her grandkids. He stepped in front of a moving train and she lost him, and any chance of every seeing those beloved grandkids again. She also suffered from chronic pain and tried about every thing from pain clinics and drugs to meditation and acupuncture but always the pain shaped her life. 

She also was not exactly smart or stupid, but she didn’t think the same way other people do. She wasn’t cruel on purpose, but she said whatever she was thinking, and it was often harsh. She didn’t think people should be offended if she meant to honestly let them know something they could fix, but still people would resent being told their sink was stained, their shirt was threadbare, their recipe needed more of this and less of that and they really needed to take a shower and pick up their crap.  Why does everyone get so upset? She did think differently, so she was always repeating the punchline of a joke, and then frowning and saying, “I don’t get it?”

That was life for Laura, a joke she didn’t quite understand told by family members who talked too loud and too much but always were welcomed in her kitchen to a big pot of spaghetti sauce and a lot of love. 

But she was eternally naïve, she wanted to be loved and she wanted to help people, and she gave everything, over and over, not just to stray cats, and homeless women and the men she let in her heart and home until once again her mental issues chased them away. She picked up people from anywhere and when she was used and abused, she did it again. This life tested her and has finally left her. 

I’m so sorry, that it wasn’t easier for her, but I’m grateful for the way she opened her door and her heart and welcomed me into her family.