Grandparent Memories

 I’m glad I was raised with grandparents who were born in 1875 and 1879(both great grandmas) and 1898 (both grandpas) and 1908 (mom’s mom) they didn’t change much in the things they considered essential as they aged. The never had, so why do I need now list; included electricity, and indoor plumbing, and a phone, or TV. There was a wood cook stove with a built in rectangular reservoir for hot water, coal burner for heat, outhouse, thunder mug under the bed, and buckets of water with a washboard and wringer for laundry. Gardening and bartering and auctions and canning and drying and sewing and quilting were daily things. I thought it was weird but nowadays my own list of never had, don’t need dates me just as completely - no dishwasher in this house. 

My grandpa was born in 1898 and my grandma in 1908 and this is how my grandma responded to everything. Show her some gloom and doom prediction and she’d list several other times people thought the world was ending. Laugh at a haircut and she reminded my mom that she once cut her hair into a Mohawk and dyed it red with mercurochrome. Show her the Pacific Ocean and she says Yellowstone Lake is about the same thing, take her to the redwoods and she grumps, “they don’t look red to me.” If I ever said “I wish it was the weekend (or my birthday, summer or Christmas)” she would counter with, “don’t wish your life away.”

And now she has been dead since 1989 and I still hear her voice telling me there is nothing new under the sun and this too, will pass, faster than you want it to.

One morning when I was about four I went out to the rabbit hutch we had next to the kitchen porch for my pet bunnies. The rabbits were gone and our American badger was inside snarling. At me. I ran inside, my grandpa went out, and somehow, for the rest of my childhood there was a tanned badger pelt with long claws clicking against the wood on my child sized rocking chair’s back spindles.

My mom’s paternal grandmother was born among the Sioux in 1875 and died in 1973 when I was ten after sharing my bedroom the last two years of her life. The family talked much about her and her husband homesteading and driving stage for Buffalo Bill but I never even heard about the Pine Ridge Reservation relatives until they came for her funeral. I can’t imagine the changes in her life, but since no one talked, I have to. Born and living there through both Little Big Horn and Wounded Knee, then married at 17 to a white stage driver and disowned by her dad for marrying a white man, so unable to visit her mom until she was 57 and her Dad died. Moving to Cody, Wyoming before there was a town and raising four sons and living to be 98. How different the world she arrived in than the one she left.

My maternal grandmother never got over growing up in a farm family of eight kids, all born around 1898 to 1908. And never forgot storing things when they were abundant, to use year round. So when the fields were bursting, she had her own crops but teamed up with mom and her cousins to share their crops and labor.

Emma Belle Lafferty and Frances Ralbon Slack

Lawrence Slack

Emerson Miller and my brother Lance

Lawrence Slack T age 17

We made sauerkraut, braided onions and garlic, canned so many types of beans, corn, pickles and tomato. And then everyone had more than what they had grown themselves in their “root cellar.”  They didn’t dry or smoke much when I was a child. And I’m not sure why, but suspect they felt indulgent using the freezer for those items like meat and fruit. Or canning jelly, and applesauce and pie cherries. I don’t do anything like the volume they did, but we trade our apples and pears and plums for garden goods and can some things. And keeping water here is essential as power cuts my well, many times we’ve figured out a way to get water from the well without the pump but never installed a hand pump on the kitchen sink which several of my family members had. Here we closed schools a month ago, and people shopped like it was tsunami season, and a bunch of items haven’t come back yet, but I have a big order in for today at curbside pickup and we could have gone another month before filling that if I wasn’t getting specifics for three birthdays and Easter. Ugh, sorry. Once again I’m rambling.

Christmas 2009 Wyoming Travel and Game Warden Training and Chorus and Publishing

Merry Christmas and May 2010 be a wonderful year!

     2009.  Wow!  As I sit here, I can see the sunset making my Maple tree, and the few leaves that have already scattered themselves on the green grass, glow like stained glass – I can’t believe how fast the years have flown by.

25 years ago in May – a couple of skinny, red-haired kids stood in front of the justice of the peace in Cody, Wyoming and swore that we were ready to promise to love each other, “Til Death do us part.”

     Were we CRAZY?  What did we know of Death, Life or anything?  But Because Greg is the best man ever, here we still are.

    It has been a wild ride, a crazy Quarter Century.  We have lived in Wyoming; Custer state park in South Dakota; Ashland, Oregon; Beijing, China; and after 13 moves in 12 years, we’ve lived in this old logging house in Crescent City, California for another 13 years.

     When we got married there were 16 people in our combined families.  Now, Death and Birth and Marriage have changed those numbers to 26 people.  The faces shift and the roles and places alter but the core is still a group of people who may not have chosen each other, but will open the door if we show up.  I have been so rich in love my whole life.

                             2009

     I admit I was delighted to see the end of the Bush years in the White House.  Ready for a change.  I don’t know if the choice was a wise one, only time will tell- but I do know 

Americans – and people all over the world – need to be wise now.

     “It is too late to confine loyalty within National Boundaries.  Loyalty to all humanity is now absolutely essential.”  Ikeda

      This year Austin got his real driver’s license and Emerson is studying to get his permit.  I know it will be less and less often that I have them both with me – more and more that they will be steering their own way into their own future.  It scares me but when I look at them – I see strong, caring young men, with a lot of the energy and compassion and courage that I was hoping they would develop. I am so proud of them both.

      Austin had a lot going on in 2009.  He turned 16, got a driver’s license, traveled with the band to Reno, and to LA to perform in Disneyland.  Suffered headaches and memory loss from a concussion in football.  Started going into training to become a game warden by doing ride-alongs.  

Checking fishing on the Klamath

Officer Weldon and Austin

Austin with Game Warden

Went duck and deer hunting, came down with mono, became a high school Junior, met some of his birth family at his great grandparents home.

Emerson is starting to learn to drive, dropped the violin and joined a college choir with Greg, 

At Immigrant Lake

With Uncle Lance and Cousin Lacy

Love that smile

Crescent City Community Choir

turned 15 and became a sophomore, started psychology class and thinks he found his career path there, mastered the art of cooking spaghetti my way,  is learning German, and loves to play World-of-warcraft in his free time while on the phone at the same time.

Mom and I on Chief Joseph Highway

     As usual we put in a lot of miles.  Over 5,000 this summer, visiting family in Wyoming doing some camping and trying to help while Greg’s Mom has been very sick.  Most of the year saw her in three hospital, in Wyoming, South Dakota and Colorado, but I’m happy to report that a brain surgery and a hip replacement finally seem to be allowing her to recover.

     I took the month of November, to write my second NaNoWriMo novel, and that was a blast.  It is a sequel to the fantasy novel I wrote about 5 years ago, and very different from the Oregon trail one I wrote for national novel Writing month last year.  With 3 novels sitting here in manuscript form, I have also been researching publishing options.  It has been my “When I win the lottery dream” for so long, but now it’s time to do the work to see if I can make it happen.

   I also took on a week long Sub Job at the end of October, that stretched to last at least through Jan. 6^th and maybe longer.  The Severely handicapped, middle school class had a new teacher, and she shattered her ankle when her dog knocked her off her deck.

     Greg’s job changed this year, from choir at the middle and high school in Brookings, Oregon – to Band and Choir at the high school only.  That means most nights and weekends he has to perform with one group or fund raise with another at city council meetings and football games etc.  He seems to thrive on demanding schedules, but with this and the worry about his mom, and trying to get enough college credits to renew his Oregon teacher’s credential, he has been having a stressful year. 

Father's Day

Mimi and Harvey

     I am so glad that I have the opportunity each year, to go through my address book and the cards from last year and remember all the people who are important to me.  I’m so happy to have you in my life!

     My computer has helped me stay in touch more.  So I have to say, my email address is dixiedoodle44@charter.net    and I am on facebook as Dixie_Miller_Goode  and on twitter as pandorasecho. Plus I usually leave a note every morning on the backpacker.com forum as echo on the good morning thread.  I also post photographs on redgage as Echo and started a blog called “echo’s Voice” at http://echo-echosvoice.blogspot.com/  That on-line community has led me to declutter my home with flylady.com, and to start exercising and lose 20 pounds with Jonathan Roche’s No excuse workouts, and to renew friendships and make new ones as well as motivating me to write my novels.  I hadn’t realized what a great tool it would be for changing my life in positive ways.  Before this, we were not online and I just used our 1996 computer as a word processor.

Merry Christmas,

lovely Bison and calves

Dixie, Greg and Austin and Emerson









Gotta remember, my Dad's favorite STEELERS won their 6th Superbowl on the 12th Anniversary of Dad's Death!  Yeah!

1996 Change and the other "C word"

When I first decided that I wanted to gather up all my old letters and add some photographs and retype them all into one location, I wasn't thinking that doing so would mean revisiting 1996

1996 was a horrible year for my family

but revisiting it reminds me that it also had a few of the last, best memories of my family

                                                 Hello,       April 10, 1996

For 13 1/2 years we have paid rent on someone else's property and we have moved 13 times in those 13  1/2 years. (if you think that sounds bad -remember we've only moved twice in the last 7 years!) - well those days have just ended (knock on wood) with approval of a 30 year loan on 2 acres and a 5bedroom house - - the land is lovely and includes several redwood stumps - one with steps carved into it and a deck on top which the boys love.  If you've never seen a redwood tree you may be wondering why the excitement but the stumps are as big as the bedrooms which tells you something about both :) - in fact our Tony Rosa Road is only a dirt driveway off of "Wonderstump Road."  Anyway, we love it and (hint, hint) there is room for company. So We're all excited and doing fine - Austin just turned 3 and is quite the big boy and even Emerson (2 in 6 days on the 16th) is rapidly losing any traces of babyhood.  Teaching, parenting and now moving!  We're numb with exhaustion, but not too numb to remember you often,  Love Dixie and Greg

Grandpa Paul, Dixie's Dad loved being a Grandpa.
Here with Lacy and Austin

     The night of Christmas 1996, my Dad was in the hospital in a room beautifully decorated but even that beauty had a message that life was ending. The hospice room was filled with Christmas lights and a small tree and there was something like 24 inches of snow, My toddlers and I made snow angels in the hospital parking lot and mom watched from the window. Friends and family came by, Ten we moved Dad back home to a hospital bed in the living room. 
      That New Year we were flying back and snow closed the roads to the airport and then we flew a day later to an area filled was flooding everywhere, Eureka, CA; Ashland, OR;  Klamath, CA. One month later, by Just after midnight on Feb 1st 1997 my Dad died. I guess I'm just remembering now how fast it went, but not as fast as the next death on the First of June, of the boys Day-care Grandpa, who collapsed of a heart attack during a stress test at the hospital and was dead before he hit the ground. So 1996, hard as it was, was at least a year all the family was still alive.

Paul, Pricilla and Emerson at Lake Selmac in Oregon

The last Christmas with Papa Paul happened here
In the Park County Hospital Hospice room

Papa Paul, August 1996
faced the boys on the beach to the top of a huge rock known as Battle Rock

But by October he could barely stand up from the couch where he slept in the living room
and jaundice was turning him Yellow
and he had missed my brother Lance's High School Graduation

The cousins on Greg's side of the family
sadly by now we have also lost Cody, the oldest

This picture taken in my parents yard in October

Merry Christmas 1996!

I hope the past year has been kind to you.  It has not been one of our best- but it has not been as cruel as it could have been either.  Every day we wake up knowing that "Grandpa Paul" is still alive and that in itself is enough miracle to require a celebration this Christmas.  To catch you up on the state of our life requires a quick journey back in time to April, when a weekend glance through the ad section of the paper changed us from rent payers to mortgage holders.  For 13 1/2 year we had paid rent o someone else's property - and moved 13 times in those 13 1/2 years. Well, on Emerson's second Birthday (April 16) we were moving into 2 acres with a 5 bedroom Farm House.  The land is lovely, with apple and plum trees and several redwood stumps - One with steps carved into it and a deck on top, and one with a small Fort built into the burnt out center - both of which the boys love to play on/in for hours - They quickly become Pirate ships, Castle or Fire trucks

If you've never seen a redwood tree, you may be wondering why the excitement about stumps, but the stumps are almost as big as the bedrooms which tells you something about both :)

Well, Finally buying a house and moving - while still dealing with two full time jobs and two toddlers is stressful but still joyous.

However we closed on the house the same day that we learned that Dixie's Dad had been diagnosed with esophageal Cancer and it has been a struggle to keep sight of the joyous aspects of our lives. The Emotional roller coaster of needing to be in Wyoming with Paul and in California with our jobs and new house have never slowed since April.  Paul needed major surgery - removal of part of his stomach and then was told he was cancer free - only to learn in August after a visit to us, showed him still strong, but with massive pain in unrelated places like his shoulders, that he has multiple areas of bone cancer with a need for serious chemotherapy but little hope for a cure. But because he really wanted to be around for his grandkids, he had to try. Time and some treatments completed made that hope grow stronger.

So we went to Wyoming on Emergency leave in October when things were grim and my toddlers were saying daily prayers and asking each day, "is Papa Paul still alive."  Now we return for Christmas to celebrate still having this wonderful man and the successful completion of four rounds of Chemo.  You sometime wonder if the cure isn't as bad as the disease but where there is life there is hope.

 (But between writing this Christmas letter and getting to Cody, that hope was replaces with the knowledge that life was measured in days remaining and the cancer had spread to kidney's and internal organs and hope was gone)

Without going into great detail - those who know Dixie's family know the detail, I must say that the major surgery done in Denver on my nephew Luke (at 6 months) and the cancer in the families of some of Paul's siblings all lead us to the heartfelt prayer that 1997 is a kinder - safer year for those we love.

On a happier note we decided to remember that we do have much to be thankful for - our jobs - our home - and most of all our family which may be battered but is intact and un-beaten.

So we gave ourselves a much needed Thanksgiving Vacation by driving up the Oregon Coast to see Keiko - the killer whale star of the Free Willie Movie in Newport's "Oregon Coast Aquarium" and he put on an awesome display of breath-taking intimacy - he came right to the glass and flattened his nose against it and bobbed and played in response to our waving.  In spite of the glass we were so close.  I was and still am profoundly moved.    ( note From 2013 I hear the talk of the movie Blackfish and the fact that whales and dolphins do not belong in captivity and the horror of being held prisoner and trained but I wonder, without marine land and sea world and trained whales, would anyone ever have known enough to care about them and map a movie like blackfish, or would they already have been exploited to extinction)

And that is not all - we spent some time with Greg's sister April and her husband which was great and they treated all four of us to three meals in quaint, ocean view, cliff top cafe's and we went to Sea Lion Caves and the Bandon Petting Zoo - so in our four days, we saw a killer whale - climbed in a sea cave filled with sea lion - petted a 6 month old tiger and visited "Auntie April"

So Greg and Dixie are doing OK, or so we keep reminding each other when the stress gets overwhelming.  One plus about having one family member with a serious illness is it does remind you to appreciate all your family members more - and the things which used to seem like major problems don't really seem all that important now.  Every time Dixie's jerk of a principal rears his ugly head she can think how insignificant his Harris-ment seems and laugh.

Daycare Grandparents, Dale and Nadine at Austin's 3rd Birthday
in old house

Now BRAG time about my two favorite boys.

Austin - at 3 years and almost 9 months he no longer allows
me to call him my baby although he is and always shall be my baby. He is also right.  He's growing and learning so much and is sometimes almost a miniature adult.  When asked what he wants for Christmas he said, "New muscles for Papa Paul so he'll be strong, and a train, and Candy."  He is learning to recognize letters and words - he saw WAL*MART and thought it said Willie*Marc  (Willie goes to day-care and Marc is her Dad) He is an observant, strong, highly verbal boy with a ton of energy but he can also be so warm and loving.  "I love you as much as the stars. I'm so glad I'm your kid."  He says almost as often as he says, "I can if I WANT to!"

Emerson on his second birthday at new house 18 days later

Emerson - 2 years and 8 month, wants to be "Captain Jim" the hero of his favorite book.  He is quiet unless he is screaming.  He's gentle, say-going but volatile and stubborn.  He is a contradiction and is OK with that, and uses the word "BUT" a lot to rearrange the world to fit his truth - When told Captain Jim Wouldn't wear diapers he blithely informed us, "But I'm Captain Jim AND I wear diapers."  And we love him.

Again, Merry Christmas

Greg, Dixie, Austin and Emerson