30 Year Anniversary

Back in the 1981 - 1982 school year, I was a freshman at a junior college in Powell, Wyoming, still living with my prints and riding the shuttle bus to school every day 30 miles each direction.  I was geeky and awkward and had never had a boyfriend, but this one guy caught my attention. He looked a lot like me, and for awhile every time I looked up I would see him walking bowlegged and lanky like a cowboy, across the campus.  Then in January as the second semester started he began catching the shuttle bus too.  An enterprising friend of mine found his name, and even better, found an ad he had placed in the Hot-Line looking for someone to carpool with for the evening classes, and his play practice.

So I called, and arranged to give him a lift home on the days I had a late class, but I was crushed that a woman answered his phone, with a cheery, "This is April!"

Later I was much happier to learn that April was his12 year older sister, and that he had moved in with her and her husband after a semester in the dorms.

We had our first date driving to see a friend of mine playing piano at Pahaska TeePee at the gate to Yellowstone Park.  As we entered the bar, Greg was carded, but the woman looked at his ID, looked at me, and waved me in, "You are obviously twins."  So 18 year old me, enjoyed the music and some food and soda, and wondered hat she thought about the twins who kept kissing every few minutes.

By October of 1982, we were living together, which made Greg's mom and Dad relax because Greg was the youngest of 6 kids and they had seen several divorces from young marriages already.  It made my Mom and Dad cry and disown me for awhile, and then invite us bcd for my brother Lance's birthday.  He was 6 and has Down's Syndrome and was Mom's excuse, I knew "Lance Misses you." meant they all did.

In May of 1984, we were still living in Powell but packing to move to the Black Hills Playhouse in Cuter State Park for Summer jobs before moving to Ashland Oregon to continue beyond Jr. college.

On May 20th we went to the movie, "Footloose" with a friend, the twin sister of the Piano player actually, and then we went home and finished packing. The next day, on a whim, we looked at each other as we hauled boxes to storage and decided to get married. We went in for the required blood test and paperwork and then went to get my parents and brothers. We told them, "get in the car if you want to come to our wedding, or we'll get witnesses for a drink at the Silver Dollar."

The wedding was quick at the Justice of the Peace and three hours later, after dinner at the Chinese Restaurant, Greg called his parents and when his Mom, said, "Don't get married. You're too young, when are you thinking about getting married anyway?"  He had to answer, "Three hours ago."

These are our fancy wedding clothes. I'm pretty sure I even had cobwebs in my hair from storing moving boxes into Mom and Dad's basement

Dad, Me, Greg and my Brother, Brett

The Bride and Groom and Grandma Grace

Us, at the cabin in Custer State Park where we lived and worked at Blackhills Playhouse

3 years later as students of Beijing Teacher's College  1987

Moving to Crescent City and the Redwoods as new teachers in 1989

Our family in 1996

and at the campground 25 years after getting married

But here we are, Tomorrow will be our 30th anniversary, and we have been Grandparents of Daisy Grace for 3 and 1/2 weeks.  We'll teach all day and his music kids will have a concert that evening. So it won't be anything but a normal day and yet, those are the best, the everyday, curl up beside him at the end of another day of work and smile because he is still my best friend, my biggest headache, and the reason I love being me.

Our Love is More Romantic Than Romeo and Juliet's

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

 Once again it is Valentine's Day.  It is a day when it is natural to wonder, "does anybody love me."  But I have been lucky, never, in my 48 years have I not known that the answer to that question was a resounding, "YES!".

 My parents were not rich or perfect, but they loved my brothers and I without any room for doubt.  They got mad and yelled, they fought and worried, and Mom had extreme mood swings, but they said, "I love you" a lot, and they had a firm policy of never leaving the house without a good-by kiss just in case someone never made it back.  They took us with them, everywhere and we laughed more than we cried.

Of course there have to be difficult times, to help us grow and learn and become the strong people we are capable of being, and my test by fire came in school, where I never really fit in, and never failed to attract easing and bullying.  So while I always knew my family loved me, I was wracked by doubt that anyone else ever would.

 But again, I have been Lucky, wonderfully, undeservedly so.  I met a man when I was only 18, and our first date was just a few days after Valentine's day, 30 years ago this year.  At the time we were barely more than kids, but our minds were deaf to the predictions of failure from those older and wiser.  We never gee up, and it wasn't easy, but one of the first things he told me was, "I don't believe in divorce.  Murder, Yes, divorce never."

So we have been together 30 years, and I have to justify my title by insisting, sure, it is romantic to see a stranger on a moonlit balcony and proclaim a love worth dying for.  But it is more romantic to live with, and for someone through everything.

Valentine's Day flowers last briefly, but you know the love is real when you both are on your knees, hugging the porcelain god, and he looks up with flu wracked eyes and says, "I'd rather be this sick with you, than healthy with anyone else."

 We were scrawny, young people in love - and over the years we have grown (now I'm twice the woman I was) and changed and yet - I love him still

 I love that he knows me so well that he finishes my sentences, and gets the reason a certain word makes me laugh or cry

 I love that he held my hand as I was in agony in the hospital with appendicitis and again as I was in tears of joy holding each of our new babies.  I love that he knew I'd need him the day my parents went home after a 2 week visit and packed the car and took me camping.  I love that he knew I'd be there all summer when his Mom needed him at the hospital in Rochester, MN

 When we were young, people mistook us for siblings and we never went anywhere without being sued if we were brother and sister.

 But my real brothers don't look or act much like me at all, and yet my husband loves them because I love them.

 I swear the boys Duct taped their own mouths in this picture taken by my Mother-in-law.

 And as our boys have grown and their life has sped up, ours slowed down a bit and became more relaxed.

 We may not exactly make the "Most beautiful People" list, but I know, when I look at him, I am looking at beauty.

 There is a deep Joy in being loved, a peace in knowing that we might disagree and argue, but that I will never cease to celebrate that this wonderful person really knows me, and loves me because of who I am.

Thank you, Mimi and Harvey, for having such a wonderful son.

I Love You Greg.