Another September, Another Chance

I love September, especially when we're in it.
Willie Stargell 

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer's wreckage. We will welcome summer's ghost.
Henry Rollins 


I also love September, and yet I find myself often depressed by it. As one who has lived 45 years on an American school schedule, I feel September as my true New Year. This is when I evaluate how the last year went and promise myself that I will change the things I didn't like and hold on to the things I loved.

After 45 year it becomes easy to see that doing that isn't easy. The resolutions each year sound a lot like the resolutions of the years before them.  So hope and depression mingle, like the perfection that is my home area in September, when the fruits are ripe and scenting the air and free for the taking. When windows hang open and the temperature both mid-day and mid-night is comfortable without air conditioning or heaters. Life is perfect but also tainted by the knowledge of how quickly things must change, and when they seem perfect, even a small change feels like a loss.

Yet This picture of my Son reminds me that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  As a toddler he wanted nothing more than to be on a boat with a line in the water. So when grandpa took him and his brother out, he was in his element, and now, when he thinks I'd  rather have him in college like his brother, 

he is a commercial fisherman with a lot of hard dangerous work and he is not always happy, not always content, but he is where he was born to be and he is true and loyal to who he is in a way that makes me proud of him.

 Wouldn't it be boring if everyone made the same choices?  If the world had one color, or one species or one religion or one dream?

I find my dreams and hopes in my family and my students and in the books I write and the books I read. I don't think my way is better than yours though, if you never want to have a child, or write a book, if exercise delights you, and you like to get physically tested, I love to hear your stories and watch you work out.

At 50 I have lost enough loved ones to know that the sadness I feel in September is the knowledge of things slipping through my fingers and away, no matter how tightly I grip.  I know my enjoyment of the vivid sunflower will be bittersweet for the knowledge of the grey rainy winter on the way. I know I play with the young dog, and already see him old and limping and grey muzzled now that I have had a series of wonderful dogs live out their life as my friend.

 But I can anticipate more than pain and loss. I also have lived long enough to know the death in the family, is followed by another birth, that the withered sunflower stalks drop the sees that volunteer next springs green shoots, and next Septembers glory.

So I have been thinking about what I have and what I have not done. I was going to make the bucket list of the things I wanted to visit, and do, and own, but while it is true, I want to see and do more, I'm not too concerned with owning THINGS anymore So this is what I really want for my resolutions

 I want to get rid of the clutter the way my neighbor has spent the summer removing the old junker trailer.

 I want to enjoy the gifts of life, like free blackberries

 and beautiful friends
 and bright
vivid
blooms

Going to College Orientation

 I have two sons, and the youngest will move 470 miles south to start college on September 21.  This week was his orientation.  We drove down with him and his girlfriend.  They have been a couple for 14 months and are going together to college.  Their youth worries me, but I adore both of them and think they have a pretty clear view on where they want to be four years from now.  They had both read a lot about their future home, but were still quite shocked at the actual campus.  Signing up for a university with a larger population than out whole county, almost double in fact, did not lead them to expect that their first entrance to the campus would feel more like driving through a Wyoming prairie and viewing the skeletal remains of a ranch with cattle and deer scattered though the stone fireplaces and derelict barns.

We left Crescent City in the fog

 I love Tiburon so we had to stop for a quick peek at Blackie's Meadow

We didn't realize until we neared Ukiah that the air con was broken in my van, so the trip was all windows down and sweaty but fun.

Then we got into the fog again at San Francisco.
The City of San Francisco calls itself Northern California, but we have to drive south for seven hours to get there from here. I love that city so much but am always glad I don't have to deal with their traffic on a daily basis. From there south to San Jose we had 10 mile an hour or stopped for EVER! but I had people I adore with me so it was still fun.

 First setting foot on the campus was strange, like where exactly is this University?

 Cowell College building

 The first night was a meet and greet and pizza night and my two are just at the center of the picture by "Sammy The Banana Slug" school mascot

 on campus

beyond the grassy ranch there is a redwood forest and most of the buildings are hidden within the trees. Except for a distant view of sea and town you'd never guess there was Santa Cruz there at all 

 In Santa Cruz there is an amusement park on the beach boardwalk and an adorable city of beautiful homes and tiny ethnic cafe's and surfing and art and so much for them to explore

 with this to tempt them away from homework, and the killer classes their advisor put them in, (Advanced Calculus and Advanced Physics and their own college's writing seminar) it is a good thing the campus is a bit removed and the freshman can't have their cars.  The public buses are easy to use however.

Santa Cruz has three classes each quarter, ONLY THREE, but PE is not required or counted as a credit so they can still take that for fun and recreation.  And each program graduates the classes with exactly the credits you get taking these 9 classes a year for four years.

I know, we have sea lions here, but this snuggly bunch on the Santa Cruz pier made me wish I could still hold these young pups close like this a bit longer.

 After orientation, we stopped in San Jose to play at the water park for the afternoon on our return trip.

 and a brief stop in San Francisco for some giant strawberries and donuts on a stick on Pier 39

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