Autobiographical Challenge: Days 17 & 18

Teaching

I love teaching. But I don't have a lot of pictures that I feel Ok putting on-line. If the pictures are recent I don't want to use them, and as a special Education teacher, I don't want any that might label a particular child as being part of my Special Education Program. This is from a year that was difficult in many ways. I had two toddlers, and my Dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in April of 1996 and Died on Feb. 1, 1997. Also the schools were overcrowded and the principal had decided that making my classroom open up and also have Mrs. Horn's kindergarten in the room with us, was a great idea. It was loud and rowdy with always some student throwing objects or having explosive temper tantrums, and it was hard to communicate effectively while the room was filled with children needing attention. My principal was frustrated that I took a week off three times during that year to fly to Wyoming to my parents home, and when he decided to combine the rooms, he gave two other teachers substitutes to come into my classroom and sort my supplies to make room for the new room, without telling me until I had started class that day, when he brought them in and told them to do whatever they needed in the cupboards. He also made sure to transfer me to a middle school Severely Emotionally Disturbed Classroom when I came back the following year after 10 years in preschool. And he sent multiple copies of every memo about my desk being disorganized or my lesson plans incomplete or . . . on and on.

Needless to say, I couldn't stand that man, but fortunately I haven't seen him for years. As always, the good part of teaching was the time spent with kids, and in spite of the way we were thrown together, Mrs. Horn and I had many good months with this group of children and our assistants. We did a lot of art and field trips and having themselves immersed in a room of "Regular Children" stressed my kids but also stretched them.

I think I never quite recovered from this year. I took the next year off to stay home with my boys and then my husband took the year after that off. then I quit being a full time teacher and have substituted ever since, although subbing and writing has been wonderful and allowed me to spend a lot of time being Mom, as the boys were growing up, I know financially we would be in a much more secure place if I hadn't stopped teaching full time. I don't regret the choice I made, but I regret making it out of exhaustion and harassment instead of out of confidence and a plan.

April 1994

Because I had gone through menopause at 20, like my mother did when she had me at 24, I knew I couldn't get pregnant, but 10 years after we got Married, we managed to adopt a 14 hour old baby boy. When the adoption agency called to ask if we would be interested in a newborn, we said Yes, but when is the birth Mother due, and they said

Two Weeks Ago.

So then we had our son and it was instant love, and every moment revolved round how lucky and happy we were. And six months flew past, and we were to finalize the adoption in front of a judge but first we needed a physical for the baby to prove that he was thriving in our care. The Dr. asked how I was doing and I mentioned that I was afraid I might have breast cancer because they HURT!!!

"No," he reassured me, "breast cancer usually doesn't hurt. Go pee in a cup."

Then "Think Positive" and 18 days after my son's birthday, his baby brother was born. Look at this picture. I love it because it clearly shows, what we tend to miss. It shows how fast a baby changes between birth and 1 year old.

The day I went to the Dr. (17 days after my oldest turned 1) complaining of back pain, and figuring with 6 weeks to go I might be needing bed rest, the oldest son also had a fever and was demanding being held even more. instead of bed rest, I ended up in an ambulance to a hospital 127 miles away and my 1 year old was at the daycare Grandmas home. I was sick with HELLP syndrome but din't realize how deadly it could be, Even when I was waking up from the emergency C-section all I could think of was my feverish, 1 year old 127 miles away from me and his Daddy. I came out of the general anesthesia sobbing, "I want my Baby!"

Not surprising in a woman who has a newborn in the NICU but when the Dr. and nurses tried to reassure me, "Your baby is doing great. He's on oxygen and in an incubator and in the nursery."

I just screamed, with tears pouring down, "Not That Baby You Idiots! I want MY baby!"

the next day my husband drove the 250 miles round trip to bring back the toddler and I still hadn't been allowed to leave my recovery room to see my newborn. When the 1 year old and my husband came in, the boy took one look at his Mom, and had totally been missing me too. He sobbed "Mommy" and flew across the floor, climbed up the bed, threw his arms around my neck, kissed my cheek

and then, the only time in his life
delivered a punishment for having abandoned him.

He turned his head and bit my shoulder hard enough I still have the scar - then hugged me like he'd never let go

There was however never sibling rivalry, he was a proud, loving helpful big brother from the first moment they met.

1994 and Baby Makes Four

So I already told you that 1993 had the surprises.  We got the adoption notice when the birth Mom was two weeks over-due and found I was pregnant before the adoption was legally finalized, so we knew exactly what to expect in 1994

right?

still 5 weeks to go?
NO

Emerson Lawrence Amadeus Goode
April 16, 994  7:05 PM
5 lbs. 6 Oz.       18 3/4 inches
Rogue Valley Medical Center    Medford, Oregon

Hello Everyone!

     I hope you will join us in welcoming a new, little boy who was determined to be a big surprise.  as most of you know - news of our pregnancy - coming as it did after years of trying and the recent adoption of Austin - caught us completely off guard.  Then you think, at least with this baby we have until May 24th to prepare.  Surprise again!

    When Dixie's back started hurting on April 11th we assumed it to be "one of those pregnancy things" and when the Doctor agreed and suggested possible bed rest and physical therapy we thought things were fine - but by Friday April 15th - Dixie was very sick and had Stomach, back and shoulder pain which the Dr. said was all referred from her liver.  A diagnosis of HELLP Syndrome (pregnancy induced, high liver enzyme, low platelet count) sent her by ambulance to a Medford, Oregon hospital with a newborn intensive care unit for an emergency Cesarean Section on Saturday evening.
   
     Needless to say, the birth and following time in the NICU was not avery pleasant experience.  Every plan and decision Greg and I had made in the past several months was destined to happen about the opposite if why we had wanted - but our main goal of having a healthy Mother and Baby is finally coming true.  Emerson is little and 5 1/2 weeks early but he's growing and becoming more left and aware of his world.  Austin is enthusiastic and loves his new baby but we have to keep a tight watch on the two of them because of over eager love pats (whack, whack) and exploration (See his ear, his eye?) POKE - - Austin was 18 days past his 1st birthday when Emerson was born so Baby makes four and our family is home and happy (weak and exhausted but very happy)

Much Love,

Dixie, Greg
Austin and
Emerson

3 days old

Grandma Holding Emerson, and Uncle Lance far Right,  had a Greyhound bus adventure on their way to visit

about 6 days old at Hospital still

Austin

1 week old and going home

Merry Christmas 1994 :)

If I ever said our life was hectic before.

Scratch that! If I could have back

those days of leisure - I wouldn't do it.

But those nights!!  Emerson likes

to eat - and in 6 months has gone from

a low of 5 lbs. 2oz to 18 lbs - but he

likes to eat at 11 PM and 2 AM and 4 AM and

on and on - Known as Durayell, the 

copper top kid, he's happy, healthy and

never stops! Austin is a blond, beauty

but at 20 months he's been in the terrible

two's for ten of them - "No" only has

meaning when he's saying it. Still he's 

gentle and loving with Emerson - but must

be supervised of course. "I can jump

on Dad's Dad's tummy why not Emerson's"

Exhaustion? Yes. Happy? Very much so.

All our days are filled with love and school and babies

Happy Holidays

Greg, 

Dixie

Austin 

and 

Emerson

Christmas Letter 1994
The sequel

Well, I looked at that first page and decided that it looked great but doesn't say much and since it is all you get, I'll give it another shot, so blame exhaustion and not my good intentions, when you have read this page and still have no clue about how Greg and Dixie are doing.

Dixie, is loving being a mother and resents the 9 hour days her job requires. I work and rush home to the boys - the housework gets ignored a lot by both Greg and I in favor of beach walks or family swim night but I get up four times a night with the boys - get up at 5:30 to get ready for work - get home at 5:00 - clean bird cages - cook sometimes and play and read stories.

Greg as usual is swamped with Christmas concerts and school programs - he's always starting 10 projects and finishing 2 but he did get us moved this year into a house where the birds and their noise and mess are outdoors but they are still close enough to ply with. He's also super as a Dad - funny but firm, and he's been helping me teach the boys to swim

Austin can sing "eieio" and clap and stomp for "If you're happy and you know it."  He swims, does forward rolls and spins around, he loves to act out Humpty Dumpty by falling at the appropriate time from a chair or headboard. He loves Emerson and shares his toys, gives hugs and slobbery kisses but if Emerson is praised for rolling over then Austin has to roll over too.  He'll be nearly 21 months on Christmas and is tall, beautiful and a great joy.

Emerson, our newest angel will be 8 1/2 months on Christmas day and weighs close to 20 lbs.  He's getting his first 2 teeth, starting to crawl and walk in  walker but can pretty well get anywhere he wants to by scooting or rolling.  He loves to crumple paper, play peek-a-boo, swim, giggle at Austin's pranks and eat.  He has long arms and steals or pizza with amazing speed but hasn't choked yet - knock on wood.

Once again, love and Merry Christmas to you,

Greg, Dixie, Austin, Emerson

The Cody Wyoming Christmas

Brothers

Emerson

Aunt April, Temporary Cousin Curtis, Austin, Connor, Colton, Uncle John and Emerson

Grandpa Paul n Emerson

1993 adoption and Joy

1993 began what has been the most wonderful part of my life.  I adore being a Mom, and all the other things I am, daughter, sister, student, writer, friend and husband were things that led up to and shaped me as a Mom.  I'm not perfect at it, even twenty years later, and yet, I've loved the ride so much.

Greg's sister April sewed Greg's robe for him, the stuffed Monkey was my childhood best friend and my Mom's companion in get College life

back when I still hand wrote at least a paragraph to each person

December 1993

Merry Christmas!

This Form letter and photo card has become a tradition.  I love doing it because browsing through our address book allows me to remember all the people whose existence brings so many treasures to our lives.  Although some of you I see or call each week and some never hear from us except at Christmas, you are all part of our herts so that we know that even if it's been ten years of Christmas form letters, we could have you walk into our living room and be able to talk and be delighted to be together.  So when you receive this, you know we are saying that we are very happy that you are a part of our world.  I wish I could promise to send more frequent and sometime handwritten letters - but life gets busier and tie more rare.  Be assured that if thought were letters your mailbox would be overflowing.

(Looking back, I realize this is why I love facebook.  Instead of thinking, Oh I wonder where my cousin is, or what my friend is doing, or "oh gee! Today is your birthday but I needed to mail something 4 days ago to let you know I remember" I have a way to say almost as soon as I think it, that you are on my mind.  Love so many people who live so far away  )

   So - 1993 - What  a year!  Greg and I started the year with our 11 year old foster-daughter.  On March 29th we were blessed with the birth of our beautiful, adopted son Austin.  We got to take him home when he was only 18 hours old.  Our lives immediately became better but much more exhausting.  In August our foster-daughter moved to a new home - although she went to Wyoming with us, later that month and has stayed in touch.

September 22th, I took Austin for his 6th month shots and asked the Dr. about some strange symptoms I'd been having.  What  a happy shock when she said, "You're Pregnant."  I'm due on our 10th wedding anniversary (May 21)   On November 16th the judge signed the finalization papers and we became the legal parents of Austin, a 7 1/2 month angelic monster who thinks he should be walking (and hitting his head), feeding himself (and give me the spoon ! NOW!), biting (see my 8 sharp teeth, see my smile even when I try to remove your finger. It means "I love you.")  His favorite thing to bite is an electric cord, foods of choice include sand, pebbles and wood chips.  He's happy, he laughs a lot, sleeps through most nights and has complicated our lives in a very wonderful way.  The kid has personality in abundance and both Greg and I keep staring at him in amazement!  We know there are thousands of babies born every day in this world, but this one is special.

Speaking of special, you have avery special holiday season with those who are most special to you!

Love

Austin, Dixie and Greg

hand made thank you card for the massive amount of baby gifts we received

When Mom and Dad contacted Adoption Horizons fifteen months ago they were told, "it's impossible to find healthy, adoptable infants."  Imagine their surprise when I arrived with only a four day warning. They had nothing for a baby, so I figure I may be little but I owe a big thanks to all the people who helped them get ready for me.

Thank You ! ! !

AUSTIN
(and Mom and Dad)

Becky and Austin 

at 24 hours old

After getting a call at work, asking if we'd be interested in a newborn, and being told the birth-Mom was 2 weeks overdue, We got to walk right into the hospital and have Austin's birth-Mom and Grandparents there to hand him over and say, "Hey Austin, meet your Mom and Dad."  seriously open adoption terrified me, but this was such a good thing for our son, because he always knew everyone loved him and that no-one had had any reason to reject him.

Foster sister Cassie was with us for the first 5 months of Austin's life and we were so lucky to have a chance to have both of them in our lives.  Even after she no longer lived with us, she went back to Wyoming to visit our families with us and now she is a wonderful young woman with delightful children I get to work with at school.